Bleed The Bittersweet
by SpiderMonkeyLove23
Summary: They thought they were finally out of the water. With the FAYZ gone and their families back, Astrid and Sam thought everything was perfect. Until a new event changes their lives even more. Told from Astrid's point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**Note: This is my first story for this series. I'm sorry if some things are off. I just haven't read the books in quite some time and I'll do my best to stay true to the books…in a way.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the GONE series or the characters. **

"Oh goodness," I sighed, falling back onto my bed. Still in darkness, I looked around. The moonlight shed light upon the bedroom that I claimed as mine. Ever since our home was destroyed, Little Pete and I took shelter in a different home. "What a day."

My stomach growled and the pain continued but it was something I was well past. Fish held us all over, as did cabbage and whatever else we could find, but sometimes it just couldn't shove away the hunger pangs. Eventually, the plants would run out and the fish would run dry and more of us would just die. As sad as the fact was, it was true.

"Hey you," Sam smiled, appearing in my door way. As soon as I saw his shaggy hair and deep eyes, the pain just seemed to disappear. But, everything seemed to disappear when he came around. "Long day?"

"You really going to ask me that?" I laughed, propping myself up on my elbows. "Every day is a long day in the FAYZ. The food is eventually going to run out, Sam."

"What food?" he laughed dryly. "I hardly call fish and cabbage food."

He sat down next to me and softly stroked my honey hair away from my face. "You know what I mean."

"Yeah," he sighed. For a moment, it was complete silence.

"They're never coming back are they?" I asked softly yet ever so sadly.

"No, probably not," he answered quietly.

"At least we have each other," I tried smiling, placing my hands on the sides of his face. Not only did he need a hair cut, he needed a good shave. He had far more facial hair than any fifteen year old boy should.

"And we always will."

I placed my head deep in the hollow of his shoulders but I soon felt his finger lifting my lips up to meet his. In his kiss I could feel anger, I could feel sadness, I could feel…_fear. _It was angrier than normal, like all of his emotions were being electrically circulated into me through our kiss.

It Didn't take long for me to fall back on the bed and he was over top of me not long after. I stopped him as his hands fumbled to unbutton my shirt.

"Sam," I said. "Are we really going to do this?"

"It's us now. Were the adults now. I love you, Astrid. I really do. Are you…okay with this?" he asked nervously. "If you aren't, we won't do anything."

"I love you too," I breathed. He pressed his forehead to mine and I closed my eyes.

I saw him and I together, old and gray, sitting on our porch, watching who I thought to be our grandchildren play in the lawn before us. Glasses of ice cold tea and lemon loaf sat on the table next to us and He and I were happy.

"How do we do this?" I laughed as the vision before me disappeared, his face replacing the sight. "I mean, I've never done…it."

"I've seen it on TV, I think it's pretty easy."

"Let's just do it how we think it's done. I mean, I know how it's done and all," I rambled but his lips crushed upon mine.

From that moment on, I knew that he and I would be together forever.

The next morning, I woke up to sobbing and screaming. The sun was bright and I was in the bed, alone, naked. Sam was no where in sight. The first thing I heard was my mother…crying outside.

"_Mom?" _I cried, slipping on my clothes and running outside. In the middle of the street she stood, holding Little Pete, sobbing over him. "MOM!"

"Astrid!" She gasped, looking up at me. Little Pete didn't let go of her as she took me into her arms tightly. Almost to the point to where I couldn't breath. I could see over her shoulder, kids and parents running about wildly. "Astrid, my baby, my angel! Oh goodness!"

"You're back," I sobbed, not even holding back the tears. She pushed me away slightly to examine me.

"You look like you've lost 20 pounds! Have you not been eating?" she scolded me.

"We don't have any food! We don't have anything! Where have you guys been? Where is dad?" I asked. I had so many questions. "Oh, mom."

I hugged her tightly once more, afraid that she would disappear again if I let her go.

"The wall," I gasped. In a split second, I took off with my mother and Petey trailing behind me. I didn't stop until I reached the beach, only to find that the barrier was completely gone. "It's gone."

"What's gone?" she asked.

"It's gone! Were free! I have to find Sam!" I called to her as I hurried away. I looked back to see her and Petey standing on the beach, confused. I needed to explain everything to her after I found sam.

"Sam!" I called, spotting him in the plaza with his mom. He took me into his arms almost immediately.

"Astrid," he smiled, holding me tightly. Now that he and I had truly sealed our love, everything felt so much better. "I can't believe it's over. Now we can eat."

"Ahem," I said, looking towards his mom.

"Oh!" he laughed. "Mom, this is Astrid…my girlfriend. I love her, I do."

His mom smiled and hugged me tightly. I could see Sam in her face clearly. Now doubting that they were related.

"So, I guess everything will be okay now?" I asked Sam once his mother had finished her hugs.

"I'm thinking so," he smiled, looking at the tearful sight before him. It was good to see children reuniting with parents for once. I hoped everything would last.

The relief effort took weeks, and even then, we didn't get very far. Houses weren't rebuilt, lives weren't completely mended from the traumatic experience and questions were left unanswered. Questions that everybody was too afraid to ask. Kids wanting to know why their parents were gone and parents wanting to know how all the destruction had come to be. It was difficult to see parent still grieving over their lost children. But, the best part was when all the food was shipped in. It seemed that everybody from everywhere pitched in.

"This is good," Sam said to me one evening as we sat inside the house that our families now shared. It was big enough to accommodate all of us, especially since Sam and I couldn't stand being separated. "We have food, we have our families, we have each other."

"It is good," I said slowly. "But, Sam, I have to tell you something."

I slowly lifted his arm from around my shoulder and walked into the bathroom. Hidden under many small things was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test.

"What is it?" he asked curiously, sitting up on the bed. I gulped and placed the small, test in front of him. "What is this?"

"Look at it," I cried. When he finally did, his eyes bugged out.

"You're pregnant?" he gasped. "Like…seriously?"

I nodded and fell to my knees.

"I'm 15 and pregnant," I sobbed.


	2. It's Us Now

NOTE: SORRY IF THIS IS A BIT OOC.

The thought of raising a child terrified me. Just having such a small thing inside me for nine months and then having to raise it for 18 years. Were Sam and I ready for a child? Absolutely not. We were both still dealing with the aftermath of the FAYZ, physically and mentally. My body was not healthy enough to carry a child.

"Sam," I said to him that night, walking up to his open bedroom door. I could clearly see that he was awake, staring up at the twirling ceiling fan. "Are you up?"

"I guess," he said softly. He didn't look at me. He hadn't spoken to me since I told him of the pregnancy and it was getting to me.

"Will you talk to me, please?" I cried, walking into the room.

"I don't know what to say, Astrid," he said. "I'm just trying to figure out how we let this happen and what we could possibly do. Are you worried?"

"I am so worried, Sam."

This time, he propped himself upon his elbows and finally looked at me. "Do you think we can raise it? Do you think two dumb--well, you're not dumb,--but do you think two clueless fifteen year olds can raise some kid?"

I had no answer.

"I didn't think so," he sighed, falling back on the pillow.

"It's us now," I muttered quietly under my breath.

"What?"

"Nothing," I said, turning to leave the room. I was obviously not going to get a decent thing out of him.

"Astrid," he stopped me.

"Sam, please," I began to cry, feeling a strong urge to just hold him and never let go. I walked over to where he laid beneath the blankets and began kissing him and kissing him. It just felt so over powering. I didn't want to stop.

"Astrid," he pulled away. "I can't do this. You should probably get back to your room…before somebody wakes up and hears us."

"Fine," I told him, standing up. He began to speak as I was at the door.

"It's us now," he said to me. "It sucks because now, it's not just us. I love you. I always will. I'm just afraid."

I hurried from the room before I finally broke out into the downright ugly sobs that didn't come around very often. I just hoped that nobody would hear me and ask me what the matter was. Because, honestly, I didn't know if I would be able to lie.

Lying was not my strong suit.

How would I break this to my parents? 'Hey, we thought you all had disappeared for the rest of time so Sam and I had sex, not thinking anything would happen.' That would never work. I would have to break it to them slowly and carefully. But, how? I had no idea.

So, I closed my eyes and hoped that in my dreams, I would find some sort of answer to this madness that was my life.

I had a dream that night. It was an amazing dream. I dreamt that the FAYZ never happened. Sam and I were still together, I wasn't pregnant and we were happy. That is, until our world began to crumble-literally. Everything fell around me and I was completely alone under the rubble. Dying and alone.

My own screams seemed to wake me up.

"Astrid?" my mother cried, coming into my bedroom. I didn't even notice that the sun shone brightly through my bedroom window. "Are you okay, darling?"

"Yeah," I lied, "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

I stared sadly at Sam over my mothers shoulder as he stood in my doorway. It was time to tell my family. If I didn't, the news would just eat me away.

"Mom, can you all meet Sam and I in the living room in about five minutes?" I finally asked. She cocked her head to the side in confusion but then shrugged and left the room. Sam replaced her spot on the bed.

"Are we really going to tell her?" Sam asked. "Tell them?"

"Well, Sam, they're going to find out eventually and I think it's just better that we tell them before they find out the hard away," I looked down at my stomach. "You can only hide a baby for so long, you know?"

He sighed.

"Yeah," he answered. "Astrid, come here."

He pulled me into a tight hug. A Sam hug, as I called it. They were warm and inviting and when I got a Sam hug, everything else seemed non existent.

"It'll be okay, right?" I cried. "Like, really?"

"Yeah, I think so," he said. "Now, let's go tell our family."

I wiped away my tears and followed Sam into the living room where our families sat. Little Pete seemed oblivious to the world around him, too enthused in his game boy to notice a thing.

"Mom," I cleared my throat. "We have to tell you something."

"Astrid," my dad said, looking to Sam and I. "What's going on?"

"Astrid and I--," Sam began. I couldn't stand the hesitation.

"I'm pregnant and it's Sam's."

Seeing my mother break down into tears like that and seeing Sam's mother's shocked gaze was one of the saddest things I ever had to witness.

"You got my daughter pregnant?" My father boomed, staring at Sam with a maddening gaze. "How dare you!

"Astrid, how could you?" My mother cried.

The entire room soon turned into commotion and I knew it was all getting to Little Pete. I had never seen my parents so upset.

"I knew this would happen!" I cried. "I don't even want the stupid thing."

And with that, I ran out the door, crying my hardest, my vision clouded from the oncoming tears.

"Astrid?" Mary Terrafino called to me as I hurried down the street. I ignored her and ran to the nearest trash can so I wouldn't heave all over the street. "Are you okay?"

"I- I cant'…I can't do this," I sobbed.

Her hand rubbed my back slowly as I continued to throw up in the trashcan. I finally stood upright when I knew I could speak clearly.

"Talk to me," she said. "What's going on?"

"Do you remember how grim things looked before the parents came back just a few weeks ago?" I asked. She nodded along. "Well, Sam and I thought that they weren't going to come back at all and we had sex."

"You and Sam had sex?" she gasped.

"Yeah and now I'm pregnant and my family is furious," I cried. "I don't know what to do, Mary. They're just so _angry, _Mary."

"You're pregnant?" she gasped. "Wow. Astrid, the smartest girl in Perdido Beach, made one of the stupidest decisions. You're fifteen. Why would you want to have sex?"

"Why would you want an eating disorder," I retorted.

"Touché," she smiled. "Well, I'll help you. If you need to stay with me, you can. My family would love to have you as a guest in our humble abode."

"Thank you, Mary," I smiled. "I would love that."


	3. Much Farther To Go

A/N: I know this isn't exactly long but I wanted to get it out tonight for my readers because I think ya'll will like this chapter. So, here is chapter 3!

I wasn't able to stay hidden at Mary's home long before my family was at her doorstep. It was three AM and they were furious.

"Astrid," my mother demanded, looking past Mary as she and her mother stood at the door. I cowered on the staircase, still in clear view of her and her vicious leer. "Come out, now. Were leaving."

"Where are we going?" I asked, not moving an inch. Both Mary and her mother looked to us anxiously, awaiting our reactions. "Tell me."

"Come outside now," she demanded. "Then I will tell you."

"Fine," I huffed, not being able to refuse her demanding tone. If you were to look up dutiful in the dictionary, my name is the definition. I hugged Mary as I walked out the door. I froze when I saw the packed car. "What is this? Are we moving?"

She sighed and climbed into the front seat.

"Were leaving," she told me as I was in the car. "Were moving away from this place. Too much has occurred and we need to leave."

"No!" I cried, placing my hand on the door handle, ready to flee the car at any moment. "My life is here, now, mom! Sam is here! We can't leave. Stop the car!"

"I'm sorry, Astrid," my father chimed in. "We can't have you staying here with that boy any longer."

"Daddy, I love him! We have to stay! This is his baby, too!" I cried.

"You are fifteen, Astrid. You don't know what love is." my mother retorted.

"I do so!" I hissed, acting completely out of my normal personality. Things were different when it came to Sam. If I needed to defend him and I, I would do anything. I didn't see justice in them ripping me away from the love of my life and the father of my child. "How does he feel about this?"

"His mother agrees that this would probably be best for both of our households. We'll get to Florida and find a good family to give the child to."

I sighed and fell back into my seat. I didn't feel like arguing anymore. We were going to Florida and I wouldn't be able to stop it. I could only sit back and watch as my life was damaged even more than it already was.

Knowing all hope was completely gone, I stared at Little Pete as he played his game and eventually let my eyes finally close and my mind go blank.

I woke up to bright day light and a high way whizzing by. The only thing that had changed was that snacks crowded the back seat. My dad still drove, my mom still rode in the passenger and Little Pete was still playing his game.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"About nine in the morning. Nice to see you finally awake," my mother said coldly. Things between her and I already seemed different. I was the perfect child, the one that did no wrong. I watched after my brother and that was it. I don't think the thought of me pregnant had ever even scratched the surface of their adult minds.

"Where are we?" I looked around at our surroundings. Everything was unfamiliar.

"Somewhere near Buck eye Arizona," my father answered. His tone wasn't sour. He sounded half way decent.

"I want to keep the baby," I blurted without thinking. I immediately clapped my hand over my mouth, realizing all too quickly what I had just said. I looked towards the floor and bowed my head.

"Astrid, darling, you can't be serious," my mother laughed.

"I kind of am," I muttered quietly.

"No. Absolutely not," my mother immediately said. "You have such a bright future ahead of you and this just ruins everything. What about everything we have planned for you?"

"You mean what you and dad have planned for me? I'm fifteen. I don't have any plans past next week, mother," I hissed.

This had her. She didn't answer me. Instead, she adjusted her sunglasses and stared toward the running road.

All was finally silent in our car.

And it was like that until we stopped that night to take refuge the nicest hotel we could find on the high way.

Even that night, my mother and I didn't speak to one another. She would talk to Little Pete but act as if I was completely invisible. At least my father would acknowledge my presence. Not that he was happy with me but he would look at me and actually talk to me.

"Go to sleep," he whispered to me once the lights were off. "We have a long drive."

I did my best to try to sleep but my night mostly consisted of my thoughts running through my mind all night long, thus keeping me awake. Many different scenarios played out in my mind, mainly of Sam and I. Some of them were me with a supernatural baby, given its fathers abilities.

What would my parents think of an all powerful baby? The thought was unthinkable.

The rest of our drive was quiet, with the occasional bickering between my mother and I. Little Pete was completely oblivious but was aware that we were somewhere new when we entered the small, Floridian town.

It reminded me a lot of Perdido Beach. It was small…and beautiful. The only thing missing was Sam.

"We'll probably just stay in a hotel before we can find a beach side condo," I heard my mother tell me father and we drove over the long bridge, connecting the two parts of the town. The water was beautiful, almost a beautiful, clear blue. "Gloria Estefan has a nice hotel over here. We could try that."

"Where exactly is it?" he asked,

"The town isn't very big. Can't be that hard."

And it wasn't. After driving around for about five minutes, we found the immaculate hotel. It was beautiful and picture perfect. I could only find so many words to describe it.

"Hi," my father said to the man at the counter. "We need a suite."

"Do you have a reservation?" he asked.

"No."

"We only give rooms with reservations," the man at the counter apologized. But, something my father did changed the mans mind and we were give a room immediately. My mother scoffed and followed my father up to the room as I was responsible for keeping a close eye on Little Pete as we walked, making sure he didn't knock down any collectibles through the halls.

"Your father and I will take this bed and you and Little Pete can share that one," my mother said to me, pushing her hair from her face. "I'm changing into my bathing suit and I'm going down to the pool. I'm taking Little Pete with me."

Of course my father followed, leaving me alone in the spacious hotel room. The time alone was nice but I couldn't stop thinking of Sam. How was he taking this? Was he feeling as hollow as I was through all of this?

Taking a nap seemed like the best idea. So, I began to sleep. But, I didn't seem to last. It seemed as though as soon as my eyes closed, my family was already busting back into the room. 4 hours had gone away from me.

"Can you not clean up a little bit?" my mother hissed, looking me up and down. "You are a mess, Astrid. You have got to get over this boy." "The father of my child?" I hissed, already headed towards the door. "You expect me to get over my first love? You are sadly mistaken mother."

And with that, I was out of the room.

The beach was nice and not crowded. There was the occasional family walking by me but other than that, not many people were around.

"Uh hello," a deep voice said behind me. I turned around to find a handsome boy standing behind me, his ocean eyes sparkling evening sun. "I was walking down the beach and I've just been walking by and I thought you were kind of beautiful so I figured I shouldn't let such a pretty girl go."

"Well thank you," I smiled and I looked back towards the water.

"I'm Brent," he said quickly.

"Astrid," I said to him. As if I invited him to do so, he took a seat next to me in the sand.

"I read people, Astrid," he said, staring at the ocean. I stared at him in confusion.

"I'm sorry?" Was this the male version of Diana?

"I know what people are feeling. It's kind of like my gift. Right now, I can clearly see that something is bothering you and you're visibly upset," he told me.

"Yeah," I laughed quietly. "I guess you could say that."

"Look, I know I'm just some complete stranger but I'm also an awesome listener so if you need somebody to talk to, I'm always here."

"And you'd listen?" I dug my toes into the warm sand.

"I'm all ears," he grinned.

"Okay," I began with my story.

It was like we were out there for hours as I discussed my story--minus the FAYZ details--and he really listened with open ears. He threw in some decent advice and seemed genuinely shocked when I finally broke the news to him about my pregnancy. But, even after all that, he just hugged me and held me there and it somehow felt right and for the first time, Sam was not the one on my mind.,


	4. On My Knees

**SO I was supposed to have this update out yesterday but for some reason, fan fiction did not want me to upload this. Haha but anyway, I hated to make ya'll wait another day but there was nothin' I could do about it. PS, if you guys ever want to give me a suggestion or something…or just talk to me about a new idea you may have, just like PM me or somethin'. Haha I promise I really am a good person. PS, I'm not old enough to have a baby so some of the aspects about Astrid's pregnancy may be a little off but I did the best I could. Thanks for reviewing and I love you guys for all the positive feedback. **

The sun had almost completely fallen beneath clouds and Brent and I were still on the beach, both wondering why my parents had yet to come for me. I learned just as much about him as he learned about me.

"So this Sam guy," he began, standing next to me on the shore of the calm ocean. The water was a nice sensation on my bare feet. I looked at him with sad eyes. "Was he good to you?"

"Yeah," I smiled as tears sprang in my eyes. "He was more than good to me. He was amazing. Even after all that we went through, he stuck with me. I miss him so much."

I couldn't help but begin to sob as I fell into Brent's almost rock solid chest. His hands cupped my head as my tears fell to the sand, creating small dark spot where the tears met their demise.

"I just want to go back home," I sobbed. "I want to go home. I want to go home."

I cried until my tears ran dry and I was ready to regain the dignity that had washed away into the ocean.

"I'm sorry," I laughed, wiping away my tears. "I'm gonna..yeah."

I couldn't get very far before he called my name.

"Astrid, wait!" he called. "Don't go. We can talk some more."

"Were strangers, Brent." I sobbed. "I shouldn't be telling you all this stuff. I'm supposed to know better than this! And I don't want a relationship right now."

"Let's not be strangers," he said calmly, walking up to me. "And as for the relationship thing, I'm perfectly fine with just being your friend. Whatever you need, I'm here, Astrid."

He placed his hand in mine and I saw nothing but sincerity in his eyes. He smiled, hugged me and we said our goodbyes.

"Where have you been?" my mother hissed as I walked into the door of the hotel suite. She stared at me with a fake concern. "You've been gone for hours."

"I was at the beach," I told her, eying the nice outfits my family was wearing. "Why are you guys all dressed up?"

My mother adjusted her skirt.

"Were going out to eat and if you were here, you would have known that. Our reservation is in 15 minutes and looking the way you do, it is going to take longer than that to get ready so you can just stay here in the hotel room."

I stood with my jaw hanging low. I was never left out of family outings.

"That's not fair," I cried. "Daddy, say something!"

"I'm sorry, Astrid," he said. "You should have come in."

"Fine," I agreed unwillingly, sitting on the bed. "Go eat dinner. I'll just be here."

"Come on, Petey, darling," my mother said as she, Pete and my father walked out the door. Before I knew it, I was in complete silence. I was alone, once again.

Alone and hurting.

It didn't take long for my mother to realize that she needed me as much as I needed her. It was an emotional moment of realization for the both of us. Many tears were shed and hugs were exchanged. Immediately following, she booked me a doctor's appointment and began to gush about being a grandparent.

"You have an appointment tomorrow," she told me as we walked the beach. I couldn't help but search for Brent. "Now, Astrid, school will be starting next month and it isn't going to be easy. I want you to know that kids are mean."

"I know," I sighed, thinking of Sam and how he wouldn't be beside me to help me through the madness. "Mom, what if they hate me? What if the baby hates me? Has dad even found a house yet?"

"Actually, we were going to tell you," she began. "We found a house across the bridge by the inland. It's extremely nice and we should close the deal in a week or two."  
"Mom, that's awesome," I exclaimed, happy to finally get out of the hotel room. Ever since my dad found his job at the power plant, things were looking up for us. I looked to the water to see the family frolicking happily through the pounding waves.

"And as for the people not liking you, they will love you, sweetie," she smiled, kissing my forehead. "How can they not?"

"A pregnant 15 year old is not exactly the popular kid at school," I sighed. "They're going to hate me and think I'm a slut."

"You will be fine," she laughed, pulling me in close as we continued walking.

The doctor's appointment came quickly and we were rushing out of the room just so we weren't more than 5 minutes late. Before I knew it, we were sitting in the room, awaiting the doctor.

"You're definitely pregnant," the doctor smiled, coming into the room with her clipboard in tow. "Now what we are going to do is a vaginal exam."

I knew all too well what this was…not that I had ever had one.

"If you just lay back and put your legs in the stirrups, I'll just have a look see," she instructed me. Nervously, I laid back and closed my eyes.

Before I knew it, it was all over.

"You appear to be 8 or 9 weeks along," she said, lifting her head back up. "You can put your legs down now. "

I put down my legs and looked at my mother and I with serious but caring eyes.

"You do know that this baby is going to be a big cost," she said seriously. My mother and I nodded along. "Depending on your insurance, a baby will be about 5000 dollars but you guys seemed to be covered in that area. Then you add in the cost of diapers and food and everything else. I'm sure you guys will be fine. It's always good to have good parents."

"My parents aren't going to be the ones raising the baby all the time. I'm helping too. It's my responsibility," I smiled.

"I wish every 15 year old girl that comes through here is just like you," she laughed. "Anyway, that's about all we have to take care of but here are some pamphlets for you to take home. You may want to get some books, just to help you prepare and everything else."

"Well okay," my mother clapped. "We'll see you next month, doctor."

"Also, morning sickness is not far off so just be prepared," she winked.

I laughed and quickly exited the office with my mom trailing behind.

"Mom, I'm nervous," I sighed. "I don't want morning sickness. I like being able to eat."

"It isn't that bad," she said skeptically. "I promise."

She was wrong. We were at dinner that night and as soon as we exited the car and the whiff of the restaurant hit me, I was on my knees in the grass, heaving. My mother embarrassingly held back my hair as everything seemed to come up.

"Let's just take her home," she said comfortingly, rubbing my back as I wiped my mouth. "Unless you and Little Pete wanted to eat."

"It's fine," he said sadly. "We'll stop at the CVS and get some saltines and ginger ale."

"Thanks honey," she smiled, kissing him quickly. "Astrid, darling, let's get back in the car and we'll go home."

"Thanks, mom," I coughed, getting in the car.

I was silent the entire way home as I just worked on keeping my stomach calm. I tried my best not to think about food but the thought just came to me and I was holding my mouth to keep back to the puke. After stopping at CVS, everything seemed to go slower. But, when we got to the hotel, I was going anything but slow.

I was back on my hands and knees at the toilet.

"You need to sleep, sweetie," my mother told me, holding my hair. "Maybe it'll be better in the morning."

"Mom, this is not getting better," I hissed. "I'm pregnant. You don't need to sugarcoat things. It is really okay." Then, I began to cry. "I just want Bre—Sam."


	5. New House

**Sorry this took so long. I had to go through a bout of discouragement after the first copy of this got deleted. I had to write everything all over again. PS, thanks you guys! You're reviews are what keep me going.**

Lying alone in the hotel room, I couldn't help but remember the worlds cardboard boxes would take me to as a child.

The worlds would be unlike any other. In those worlds, everything was perfect. The sun was always shining and I never saw a cloud in the sky. Each world was distinct. Some of my worlds had mythical creatures. Others were normal and my brother wasn't severely autistic. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss those worlds.

Now my world was in chaos and all I was left with was my family, my unborn child and pain. Pain for the lost love of my life, pain for the tribulation I was putting my family through and pain for those still dealing with haunting memories of the FAYZ.

Including myself.

The images still haunted me. I still saw the dead children, I still heard their screams. Even full, I still felt so hungry. Like it would never disappear. I was stuck with an everlasting emptiness and there was no filling it.

Was Sam still empty? Was he in pain, too? Thinking this compelled me to grab the phone and call the love of my life. Ever since I accidentally almost blurted out another boys name while heaving over the toilet, Sam was full force on my mind.

After just a few rings, his smooth voice was on the other end.

"Hello?" he answered. I was stuck in the silence as his face appeared in my mind. "…Hello?"

"Sam?" I said quietly.

"Astrid," he said. "Hi."

"Hi," I said, tears springing in my eyes.

"Uhm, this really isn't a good time. Can I call you back?" he asked suspiciously.

"Sure," I frowned.

Almost immediately, the line went dead and I was left confused. Sam had so mysteriously gotten off the phone, as if he was doing something he wasn't supposed to.

My Sam would never do something wrong? Would he?

"We have the house!" My mother exclaimed, busting into the hotel room. From then on, my thoughts of Sam were maximized.

Within a week or two, I was standing in the immaculate foyer of our new home as brand new furniture was brought in. I had never seen something so beautiful. The wooden floors were spotless with not a scratch to be seen. The walls a sea foam green. My dream home. The only thing missing was Sam.

"Astrid, come out here!" my mother called from our back yard that faced the water. As soon as I saw his face, my heart fell into my stomach. His beautiful eyes were staring directly into mine.

It was Brent. Like a dream, he just appeared.

"Brent," I barely whispered.

"Astrid, meet our new neighbors. This is Mr. and Mrs. Malone and their son Brent. He's about your age, darling."

I wanted to say something. Anything. But, what? What could I possibly say? We were neighbors now. No changing that. There was absolutely nothing to say.

"I do hope you get to know them. They seem very kind," my mother smiled.

"Glad to have you guys in the neighborhood," Mrs. Malone smiled. "We would love it if you and your family would join us for dinner."

"My Laney sure is a mean cook," Mr. Malone smiled, pulling Mrs. Malone into his chest. She blushed and pulled away.

"Yes," she laughed, wiping the invisible dust from her flowing skirt. "Any who, dinner is around five o clock. I hope you guys like chicken."

I watched Brent and his family until they were in the house and out of sight. I was paralyzed by shock and apprehension. I had only seen this boy once and I spilled out my life story to him. He knew everything about me. It was like we had been best friends since birth.

He just didn't know about the FAYZ. Nobody could ever fully know about that night mare without that experience. I was doing a great job of blocking out the images of it all.

I stood in my bedroom as I watched furniture being brought in for what seemed like hours. In just a matter of time, it all seemed to come together and I finally had a room of my own again. There was no destruction at all. It was all in one piece. No gaping holes in the walls or torn off roofs. Now where would I put the crib and everything else?

"Astrid," my mother called from downstairs. "Were about to leave. Come downstairs, darling."

"Coming," I called, hurrying downstairs. Silently, I prayed that morning sickness wouldn't come up during our dinner. They stood anxiously by the door and smiled as we walked over to our neighbor's home.

"Welcome," Mrs. Malone exclaimed as we stood at the door. There house was as beautiful as ours. If not more. "So glad you could make it."

"Thank you so much for inviting us." My mother smiled.

"Please, make yourselves at home. Dinner is cooking," Mrs. Malone said, "Let me get my son."

She walked over to the stairs.

"Brent, darling, come down. The neighbors are here!" she called.

In a moment, Brent stood at the bottom of the steps, staring at me as if we had never met.

To him, we were complete strangers.

The rest of the night was awkward to say the least. Brent didn't speak one word to me as I just attempted to keep dinner inside me. The smell came at me like bricks and things were…difficult. Brent's parents obviously had no idea I was pregnant, as I was asked if I cared for a taste of wine. My mother just looked at me and chuckled quietly. I think we all breathed a long sigh of relief when the night was over and we were able to go home.

The furniture was still being placed when we had left so when we got back home, everything was good. Like we had lived in the house my entire life.

"I'm going to put him to bed. It's late, my darling, I suggest you sleep," my mother said, placing her hand gently on my stomach. "Somebody is starting to show."

"Yeah," I sighed. "Goodnight, mom."

"Goodnight, dear," she kissed me on the forehead and I walked slowly into my room.

It then occurred to me that I had a balcony which faced the water. All the lights from the other side of town shone brightly upon the water and lively boats rested gently upon the sleeping surface. Maybe I could just live on the balcony.

I grabbed a blanket, laid in on the balcony and watched the stars for what seemed like hours. I was completely at peace with myself until I heard a familiar somebody whispering my name.

"Astrid," Brent whispered loudly from below the balcony.

"Brent?" I asked, looking at him strangely. "It's like 3 in the morning. What are you doing here?"

"I had to talk to you," he said. "Can I come up?"

"How are you going to do that? Fly?" I laughed.

"No," he smiled. "I know this house."

Somehow, he found a ladder and was up the side of my house in no time. I stood in amazement as he climbed so flawlessly.

"Why did you act like you didn't even know me?" I blurted. I clapped my hands over my mouth, as that was not something I was intending to ask. "Sorry. I wasn't supposed to ask that."

"I don't know," he muttered, kicking his foot around, "I guess I've just missed you, that's all. We haven't talked in weeks."

"Yeah," I said quietly. "Anyway, what are you doing here, Brent?"

"I've just been awake thinking and I just thought," he paused, "I want to know more about you…if you're willing to tell me."

I sighed, didn't speak and took him down on the blanket with me. His eyes went almost immediately to the small bulge beneath my tight shirt.

"You're starting to show," he pointed out.

"Unfortunately," I frowned. "I'm not ready to be a mother."

"Can I touch it?" he smiled brightly, lifting his hand. "My parents never gave me a sibling so I've never actually seen a pregnant woman in person. At least not one that I know."

I could easily tell he was nervous, thus leading me to smile. He reminded me so much of Sam when he was nervous. His nervous eyes, his nervous smile, his nervous laugh. It was all so adorable.

"If you want."

He placed his hand on my stomach and smiled. He showed his pearly whites as his blue eyes lit up with excitement.

"I think you'll be a great mother," he said, smiling, "When do you go to the doctor again?"

"Next week," I said, perplexed by the fact that my next appointment was coming up so quickly. I wondered what would happen. Would I get to see my baby, finally? Would I get to hear its tiny little heartbeat? "I'm kind of nervous. I know this isn't my first one but still."

"So are you going to Vero Beach High School?" he asked, ignoring the doctor's appointment explanation.

"Yeah. Just look for a pregnant sophomore," I smiled reluctantly.

"It'll be okay," he smiled lovingly, keeping his hand on my stomach. "Trust me."


End file.
